Cooking with vampires
by Mysterious Kat
Summary: Chapter 9 is now up. Please R
1. Default Chapter

Note: I don't own any of the LOK charters.  
  
I just opened up a restaurant, and I mange to get Kain, Raziel, Turel, Dumah, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah to help me run it, (Okay they may not be the best people for a job like this, but who else would I choose)  
  
Me: I'm glade you could all help me.  
  
Kain: Yeah! Only because you blackmailed us!  
  
Me: I didn't blackmail you, I asked you!  
  
Dumah: Yeah right.  
  
Me: I did!  
  
Turel: Then what was that all about, that if we don't help you, you'll put baby pictures of us on the Internet?  
  
Everyone except me: YEAH!!!!!!! *They all look at me very angrily*  
  
Me: Well.........uh..........oh............um.............you see its like this well..........um ALL RIGHT!!! I did blackmail all of you! But I didn't know whom to ask!  
  
Raziel: That and you wanted to be near Zephon.  
  
Me: That and I wanted to be near.... HAY! *I look very angrily at Raziel*  
  
Raziel: Well you are!  
  
Melchiah: You've got your name as Zephon fan.  
  
Me: *Blushes furiously*  
  
Rahab: But that doesn't tell us why you wanted the rest of us here.  
  
Me: Well Zephon wasn't enough all right, is that a good reason?  
  
Kain: No.  
  
Melchiah: I'll bye it anyway.  
  
Me: Well at least someone does! Now can we please sort out what you all going to do in my restaurant?  
  
Dumah: Your restaurant?  
  
Me: Well I am the manger of this place!  
  
Kain: Why does it have to be you?  
  
Me I was the one who brought this place Kain! So I have rights to it!  
  
Zephon: What do you want us to do?  
  
Me: Well since you asked, I need you all to pitch in, in everything.  
  
Everyone except me: EVERYTHING!  
  
Me: Everything!  
  
Turel: Not unless you pitch in, in everything to?  
  
Me: Done! Now why don't we start with who is going to do what first?  
  
*We all go to the kitchen*  
  
*After 20 min, we started to have problems with who would do washing up duty*  
  
Me: Someone has to do washing up duty *Looks at everyone* Dumah?  
  
Dumah: I Said I would be cleaning!  
  
Me: Melchiah?  
  
Melchiah: My arms and legs falling off are bad enough!  
  
Me: *All sweetly at Zephon* Zephon? You will do for me would you?  
  
Zephon: Sorry I get bad luck when it comes down to anything, to do with water!  
  
Me: Then who will do it?  
  
Raziel: Why don't you do it? Zephon lover!  
  
Me: *Hits Raziel with a frying pan* cause it's bad enough for me to do it at home!  
  
Raziel: *Rubbing the back of his head* Owwww!  
  
Rahab: Well if you won't do it and we won't do it then who will?  
  
Me: *Grins evilly* Kain! Come with me, the rest of you stay here!  
  
*Kain and me go off and come back with Kain holding on to Moebius in one hand and the Soul Reaver in the other*  
  
Me: We've found someone.  
  
Kian: *Puts Moebius down in front of the sink and is pointing the Soul Reaver behind him* okay you! You'll be on washing up duty! If you refuse to do it, then you'll be in to pieces instead of one! Do I make myself clear?  
  
Moebius: *Shaking* Washing up duty, got it.  
  
Me: Great! Now that's sorted why don't I see what you all can cook!  
  
Turel: Cook?  
  
Me: Yeah cook!  
  
Dumah: *Snickers since he doesn't have to do it* this should be good for a laugh.  
  
Zephon: What now?  
  
Me: Yeah now. *Looks at Kain, Raziel, Turel, Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah who all look very nervous when I said that* don't tell me none of you know how to cook?  
  
Kain: Okay we won't tell you.  
  
Me: I don't believe this!  
  
Dumah: *Laughs*  
  
Me: *To Dumah* do you know how to cook?  
  
Dumah: *Shuts up*  
  
Me: *Sighs* does that mean I need to get more people to come and help?  
  
*Everyone except Me and Moebius who was washing up nodded*  
  
Me: Fine *I get out my mobile, and rings up Umah* Hello Umah it's me *pause* yeah that Zephon fan.  
  
Zephon: You can never get enough of me.  
  
Me: Shut up. What *pause* oh not you Zephon, listen we need your help, do you know how to cook? You do? *Sigh of relief* thank goodness, it's because I'm opened up a restaurant and the problem is Kain and his sons don't know how to cook, you can come great *pause* you'll be a few min's, see you then.  
  
Raziel: Sorry about that.  
  
Me: Don't worry Umah coming to help and she'll teach you all how to cook. I'll help you a bit as well since I know some cooking skills.  
  
*From outside the kitchen we could here Dumah and Moebius fighting*  
  
CRASH  
  
SMASH  
  
BANG  
  
Me: What is going on out there?  
  
*We run out to find them both racking the place*  
  
Me: Hay if your going to fight, take it outside!  
  
This will take a while so I'm going to finish the chapter here, and the next chapter will be up as soon I have wrote it. For the mean time Please review. 


	2. Punishment's, Emergency's, A ??? want's ...

It has been an hour after Dumah's and Moebius's fight, we've just separated them from each other and had sorted out there punishments.  
  
*In the kitchen*  
  
Moebius: *With bandages on his head and arms, and a black eye* you mean I have to wash all the plates that are not broken, work over time and lose my paycheck?  
  
Me: *Helping Turel ties his apron* Not pay check! I didn't say you were getting paid!  
  
Moebius: *Whining* I'm not getting paid?  
  
Me: No I said you had to wash the plates, work over time and once Umah is here, you'll have to learn how to cook with the others!  
  
Moebius: M...me?  
  
Me: Yes you, because if the others are getting a lesson you might as well have one to!  
  
Moebius: *Sniff* *sniff* you are so mean!  
  
Me: Well you and Dumah shouldn't have been fighting!  
  
Moebius: *Sniff* but he said I'm old!  
  
Rahab: *Just put his chef hat on* Uh Moebius, you are old.  
  
Moebius: *Glares at Rahab* that's not the point!  
  
*Out side the kitchen, at the tables*  
  
Raziel: So you have to clean up this whole mess?  
  
Dumah: *With two black eyes, a dent nose and has messy hair* Yeah! Just because Moebius won't just admit that he is old!  
  
Zephon: Is that what the fight was all about?  
  
Dumah: Not just that but he said to me if I was in a battlefield, I would get beaten down before you know it!  
  
Raziel: Don't see that happening.  
  
Zephon: I don't ever.  
  
Me: *Calling from the kitchen* Oh Dumah! Once Umah is here I expect you to be in here ready to cook!  
  
Dumah: WHAT!?  
  
Me: Your cooking to!  
  
Dunah: But I'm the cleaner of this place!  
  
Me: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND! YOUR STILL GOING TO HAVE A COOKING LESSON LIKE THE REST OF US!!!!  
  
Dumah: *So loud that the whole world could hear*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kain: *Comes up to me* so let me get this straight. Everyone is going to have a lesson on cooking including my son Dumah?  
  
Me: Yes.  
  
Kain: And Moebius?  
  
Me: Yes.  
  
Turel: This should be good.  
  
Melchiah: *Running around the kitchen* HELP EMERGENCY!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: What is it Melchiah?  
  
Melchiah: *Missing his left arm* my arm fell off and now I can't find it!  
  
Me: Great now that's all we need. *Shouts to everyone* has anyone seen Melchiah's arm?  
  
Everyone except Melchiah and me: No.  
  
Melchiah: *Whining* my poor arm *sniff* *sniff* where could it have gone? *Starts to cry*  
  
Me: Now now Melchiah don't cry.  
  
Rahab: Where were you standing when you notice it fell off and had vanished?  
  
Melchiah: *Pointed to the corner of the kitchen where on the stove was a giant bowl of soup in it*  
  
Raziel: *Goes and have a look around in the corner* well I don't see anything but... what is that smell!?  
  
Zephon: Smells like it's coming from the soup. *Lift's up the lid to find someone had stuck Melchiah's arm in* Eeeeeewwwwwwwww!!! Melchiah I've found your arm. *Pick's it up out of the soup* but I think someone did this for a joke.  
  
Melchiah: My arm! *Takes it and whips it dry with a towel* who would do something like that?  
  
*Everyone looks at Moebius*  
  
Moebius: What?  
  
Me: Why did you stick Melchiah's arm in the soup?  
  
Moebius: I didn't! I was here the whole time!  
  
???: It was me!  
  
Raziel: Who's there?  
  
???: I was the one who did it!  
  
Kain: *Holding the Soul Reaver* Come out and show yourself!!!  
  
???: If you say so. *The light's go out and a white figure came out of nowhere* BOO!  
  
Everyone except ???: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dumah: *Comes in and turn's on the light's* I'm done cleaning, and what was with the darkness? *See the ??? Who has a white sheet on him* and who's that guy?  
  
Me: *Takes it off ??? to see who it is*  
  
Everyone: VORADOR!!!!!!!!  
  
Vorador: Hi everyone! Boy you should of seen the look on your faces!  
  
Rahab: What are you doing here?  
  
Vorador: Well I heard you were all working in a restaurant, so I came to see if I could work here to.  
  
Turel: You want to work here?  
  
Vorador: Sure I do! Who's the manger?  
  
*They all point at me*  
  
Kain: *Goes up to Vorador* She blackmailed us in to working here! So I think you should go while you still have the chance!  
  
Vorador: Nonsense Kain, I came to ask if I can work here so I not going anywhere!  
  
Me: *Happily* wonderful, we need all the people we can get!  
  
Kain: Oh now it's we?  
  
Me: *Glares at Kain* don't push it! Were going to have Umah coming down to teach us how to cook, which she should be, hear any min, so if you can put an apron on and get ready.  
  
*Few min later, Rahab had just stitched Melchiah's arm back on and everyone was ready and Umah was finally here to give us our first cooking lesson*  
  
Umah: Okay why don't we get started?  
  
You'll have to see what happens on the next chapter. Please Review. 


	3. First cooking lesson

Umah has just come to give them their very first cooking lesson.  
  
Umah: To start off you should wash your hands, but since most of us here are vampires so you'll have to stick on gloves.  
  
*Moebius and Me wash our hands while the others put on gloves*  
  
Umah: Before we begin, I think it would be a good idea that you should all pair up with someone.  
  
Me: Well if we have to do that then Dumah, you and Moebius work together.  
  
Dumah and Moebius: WHAT!!! BUT WHY!!!  
  
Me: Part of your punishment!  
  
*Dumah and Moebius glare at me then at each other. The others are pair up like this; Me and Zephon, Kain and Vorador, Raziel and Turel, and Rahab with Melchiah*  
  
Kain: Why am I not surprise with you going with Zephon?  
  
Me: *Hugging Zephon* what can I say?  
  
Turel: Not much. *Snickers with Rahab, Melchiah and Raziel*  
  
Zephon: *To Dumah. Whispering so I couldn't here* help me.  
  
Dumah: Why you're doing fine as you are, beside at least you didn't get paired up with the old guy.  
  
Moebius: I heard that weakling!  
  
Dumah: What did you say!  
  
*Both of them getting ready to fight*  
  
Me: Hay, hay, hay! *Getting between them* look how about this, both of you just have this one cooking lesson. And you don't have to have any more.  
  
Dumah and Moebius: Deal!  
  
Me: Right now that's sorted why don't we carry on? Umah.  
  
Umah: Okay I'm going to teach you all how to make bread.  
  
Melchiah: This is going to be hard!  
  
Me: Oh come on! I did it at school, it was quite easy. We had to put a filling in it, it was easy enough.  
  
Umah: What did you stick in as the filling?  
  
Me: Cheese, Bacon and Basil.  
  
Vorador: BASIL!!!  
  
Me: Yeah.  
  
Kain: You put Basil in your bread!?  
  
Raziel: You monster!!!  
  
Melchiah: *Sniff* *Sniff* I feel sorry for that guy.  
  
Me: *Getting mad* Basil is not a person you idiot's! *Gets out a packet of Basil* Basil is a herb! It makes it taste better!  
  
Everyone except Umah and me: Oh.  
  
Moebius: *Being cheeky* Taste great huh? Well your bread must taste awful then.  
  
Me: *Throws a knife at him* It just gives it more flavour then just the taste of cheese and bacon!  
  
Moebius: Okay, okay, don't kill me you...  
  
Me: *Before he could say it I threw another knife at him* say the next word and the next one won't miss! Plus I want this be kept a 'G' Fic.  
  
Umah: And I would like to finish your lesson on making bread, which we haven't really started yet. *Everyone stops what they were doing and got ready for their lesson* okay the first step you have to do is just...  
  
*An hour or two, or perhaps three later, everyone had made there bread. Umah was going around looking at them*  
  
Umah: *To Zephon and me* very good I like that one.  
  
Zephon: *To me* How many times have you done this?  
  
Me: About a couple of times.  
  
Umah: *To Kain and Vorador* not bad for first try.  
  
Vorador: Actually it was more then that.  
  
Kain: It took us at lest fifty-five goes to get it right.  
  
Vorador: Twenty of those goes was to get the right amount of Yeast.  
  
Umah: *Goes on to Raziel and Turel* It's a bit burnt isn't it?  
  
Turel: The cooker was up a bit to high and we also left it in a bit to long.  
  
Raziel: I wonder who's cleaver idea was that!? *Looking at Turel*  
  
Turel: *Glare*  
  
Umah: *To Rahab and Melchiah* good, but what is that doing in your bread? *Pointing to an ear that was in the bread*  
  
Melchiah: My ear! *Take's it out of the bread*  
  
Rahab: Come on Melchiah, I'll go sow it back on.  
  
Umah: *Now onto Dumah and Moebius, but something was not quite right about it* what is that?  
  
Moebius: Well it's supposed to be our bread but it sort of went wrong.  
  
Dumah: It wouldn't have happened if someone didn't use too much water!  
  
Moebius: Well you wouldn't do it!  
  
Dumah: Water burns me! And you were in charged of that bit! And since you didn't do it properly, it came out all soggy and a complete mess!  
  
Umah: Well look on the bright side, at least you two don't have to do any more lesson's.  
  
*Dumah and Moebius both had a grin on their faces, which made them run off to do something beside cook*  
  
Umah: *To the others who were still there* very good for first try's people, will do another lesson tomorrow.  
  
Well their first lesson didn't go to badly, but will the second go better or worse? Please Review. I'll take any suggestions if you've got any. 


	4. Revenge is sweet. But making cookies is ...

Note: I don't own any of the LOK charters ECT.. I'll also take suggestions if any of you have got any.  
  
Now onto the story. ***************************  
  
The first lesson went okay. But now it's the next day, how will it go. And as for Dumah and Moebius, do you think they've learnt their lesson? Or do you think they were both just getting started?  
  
Me: Is everyone here?  
  
Melchiah: Beside Dumah and Moebius, yeah we're all here.  
  
Raziel: What are we going to cook for our second lesson Umah?  
  
Umah: Well I thought you all could have a bit of fun, so for this lesson, I'm teaching you all how to make cookies.  
  
Everyone except Umah: *In a cheerful way* COOKIES!?  
  
Rahab: Do we get to choose what we want to put on top?  
  
Umah: Sure.  
  
Everyone except Umah: ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*While we're doing that why don't you all see what Moebius and Dumah are doing*  
  
Dumah: *Thinking* I'm glade I don't have to do stupid cooking, cause if I got put with the old man again. Someone will lose their head!  
  
Moebius: *Thinking* I'm glade I don't have to do stupid cooking, cause if I got put with the weakling again. Someone will get water put all over them!  
  
Dumah: *Getting a broom out of the broom closest* Now how am I going to get my revenge?  
  
Moebius: *In the bathroom washing his hand's* Now how am I going to get my revenge?  
  
*Meanwhile in the kitchen. Umah is going round all of us to see what sort of cookies we have made*  
  
Umah: *To Zephon and me* chocolate chip cookies a, that's a good one.  
  
Me: Well everyone like's chocolate chip.  
  
Zephon: *Tasting one*  
  
Everyone except Zephon: O_O;  
  
Raziel: Didn't know you eat human food.  
  
Zephon: *Munches down on the cookie then swallows it* I don't I was just trying one.  
  
Vorador: Is it good?  
  
Zephon: Good? It's delicious! Even better then blood!  
  
Turel: Then I don't suppose you don't want to try ours.  
  
Umah: Why? What have you and Raziel done? *Takes a look at there cookies, which were completely red* what have you two stuck on them?  
  
Raziel: Blood!  
  
Umah: Blood?  
  
Turel: Yeah blood.  
  
Zephon: *Holding his half eaten cookie in the air. And speaking in a very weird way* oooooooo lovely, blood cookies!  
  
Everyone except Zephon: *He said it so funny that everyone else started laughing*  
  
*While we were laughing, meanwhile outside the kitchen*  
  
Dumah: *On the computer, scanning some pitchers of Moebius that are very embarrassing (Don't ask)* revenge is sweet.  
  
Moebius: *In the bathroom still, but is filling up balloons with water* revenge is sweet.  
  
*This could be bad* *Meanwhile back in the kitchen, everyone is calming down*  
  
Umah: *Still laughing a bit* okay now onto Melchiah and Rahab. *Goes to see what there cookies are* they smell a bit, don't they?  
  
Rahab: That's because, we stuck meat on them.  
  
Melchiah: Yeah, meat cookies.  
  
Umah: Oooookkkkaaaayyyyy. Not bad, but next time think of something other then meat. *Goes over to see what Kain and Vorador put on* what the? What did you two stick on yours?  
  
Kain: Well we didn't know what to stick on, so we stuck on what the others had.  
  
Vorador: Yeah so we made Meat, Blood and Chocolate Chip cookies.  
  
Everyone except Kain and Vorador: EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vorador: What?  
  
Kain: We didn't badmouth any of your cookies!  
  
Me: Yeah, but we didn't stick them all together.  
  
Kain: But we took your advices, things taste a lot better when there's more then one flavour.  
  
Me: Not in that way!  
  
Vorador: You didn't say in what sort of way!  
  
Me: Okay if you want to prove your point then try one of yours!  
  
Kain and Vorador: Fine!! *They both take one each, took one big bite out of them. But just ended up spitting them out*  
  
Vorador: It's horrible!  
  
Kain: The worse thing I'd ever tasted!  
  
*Outside the kitchen again*  
  
Dumah: *Thinking* hehehehehe, soon it will be ready!  
  
Moebius: *Thinking* hehehehehe, soon it will be ready!  
  
Well maybe now Kain and Vorador will think twice before doing something. And who's going to win between Dumah and Moebius? Please Review. 


	5. Revenge, Muffins and a Phone Call

When we last left off, Kain and Vorador made the worlds worst cookies and Moebius and Dumah were plotting revenge, let's see what going to happen in this chapter.  
  
*In the kitchen, we're all making muffins*  
  
Umah: How are your muffins coming along people?  
  
Me: Don't need to worry about us.  
  
Zephon: Yeah we're doing fine.  
  
Raziel: We're okay.  
  
Turel: Just thinking what to stick in ours.  
  
Rahab: Melchiah, quite eating the dough!  
  
Melchiah: *Whining* but we stuck a lot of chocolate in, and it taste so good I can't stop.  
  
Vorador: Hay Umah!  
  
Kain: Ours is not going very well!  
  
Vorador: Yeah, what are we doing wrong?  
  
Umah: *Comes to take a look* I see what you've done wrong. You've added the entire packet of flower, including the packet.  
  
*Meanwhile out side the kitchen*  
  
Dumah: Just press enter on the keyboard, and my revenge will be finish.  
  
Moebius: Just throw one water balloon at him, and my revenge will be finish.  
  
*They then met each other with music going on in the background (You know the music that cowboys have when there going to have a dull)*  
  
Dumah: So you came prepared.  
  
Moebius: *Holding a water balloon ready to throw it* indeed I have.  
  
Dumah: *Has his claw down ready to click the enter button* well if you dare throw that water balloon then I'll just press the enter button to download pitchers of you onto the Internet.  
  
Moebius: You wouldn't!  
  
Dumah: I would!  
  
*They both stand still with Moebius ready to throw the water balloon, and Dumah ready to press the enter button*  
  
*Back in the kitchen* *Umah is seeing what we've done*  
  
Me: We made fruit muffins.  
  
Zephon: *Eating one* It's not that bad.  
  
Umah: *Went to Raziel and Turel* you used blood again didn't you? *Looking at there muffins that were completely red*  
  
Raziel: Hay, we are vampires after all.  
  
Turel: Yeah, so sue us! *Everyone looks at Turel* what? What!?  
  
Umah: *Went to Rahab and Melchiah* what smells like the ocean?  
  
Melchiah: Oh, that would be what we put in our muffins.  
  
Rahab: Yeah, we stuck fish, it's fresh.  
  
Umah: *Goes to Kain and Vorador before she decides to throw up* and what have you two done?  
  
Kain: We did, jelly beans.  
  
Everyone except Kani and Vorador: JELLY BEANS!?  
  
Vorador: That's right.  
  
*Before someone could speak, the telephone started ringing*  
  
Me: *Calls to Dumah and Moebius* Dumah, Moebius! Could one of you get the phone!  
  
*No answer*  
  
Me: Dumah? Moebius?  
  
*No answer still*  
  
Me: Fine I'll get it!  
  
*Goes out the kitchen* *Dumah and Moebius are still standing where we last left them*  
  
Me: You two are weird! *Answers the phone* hello? Who's this? Yeah I'm the manger and your? Oh so what do you want? *Pause* come when, tomorrow!? Well no I just wasn't expecting that. Okay. Okay bye. *Puts phone down*  
  
Dumah and Moebius: *Battle cry* AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *About to do what there going to do*  
  
Me: Nock it off, unless you want to be punished again!  
  
Dumah and Moebius: NO! NOT THAT!! *Stop's what they were about to do then just ran off somewhere*  
  
Me: *Went to the kitchen to give them the bad news* Guys! I've got some bad news!  
  
Raziel: What is it?  
  
Me: The health inspector was on the phone. He said he was coming down here tomorrow!  
  
Everyone: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kain: Do you know who the health inspector is?  
  
Me: No, but I'm guessing it's someone not good.  
  
Everyone: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kain: *While everyone was panicking, he was thinking* wait! What am I doing? This is great; if the inspector shuts down this restaurant then I don't have to work here anymore. *Evil smile, with the background black and evil music in the background* this will be good. Huh? Who is playing that music? And who turn out the lights?  
  
Vorador: Sorry that would be me.  
  
What is Kain plan anyway? And who is the Health inspector? Please Review.  
  
(A/N: The cookies and muffins ideas were Bahamut Epyon. Thanks) 


	6. The Inspector is here!

The health inceptor is coming here soon, and things are okay, for now!  
  
Me: Okay everyone, here is what you're all going to do. Dumah you stay outside the kitchen cleaning, Moebius you stay in the kitchen and wash the dishes. And I would also appreciate that you two don't fight while he's here.  
  
Dumah: Just keep him out of my way then.  
  
Moebius: And keep him out my way!  
  
*Both glare at each other*  
  
Me: Now, now.  
  
Umah: What about the rest of us?  
  
Me: Oh yeah what I want you all to cook. Kain and Vorador do bread. Raziel and Turel, do cookies.  
  
Raziel and Turel: YES!!! *They do a high five*  
  
Me: Rahab and Melchiah, do muffins. And Umah you go round everyone to see if they're doing it right.  
  
Zephon: What about me?  
  
Me: Oh, and as for you, Zephon, *Cuddles him* you stay with me by my side.  
  
Kain, Vorador and Turel: *Snickers*  
  
Zephon: *Sighs* I just had to ask.  
  
Me: Oh come, you know you like me.  
  
Zephon: *Slowly turns his head around with a smirk on his face* indeed I do. *Then grabs me and stars kissing me on the lips*  
  
Everyone else: *Does wolf whistle*  
  
Zephon: *Stops* happy now, you got what you wanted.  
  
Dumah: *Came in* the health inspector here! *Goes back out*  
  
Me: Okay everyone gets to your places you all know what you're doing. Zephon come with me.  
  
*Zephon and me go out to see the health inspector to out it was*  
  
Me: MALEK!?  
  
Malek: Yeah, I'm the health inspector. And you must be Kat? Also known as Zephon fan, *Sees Zephon next to me* see you choose Zephon to fallow you.  
  
Zephon: *Thinking* this guy drives me nuts!  
  
Malek: All right let see what kind of a people you got here, which are more then likely vampires.  
  
Me: Vampires and Moebius.  
  
Malek: *Looks at me with a strange look* fine.  
  
*We go to the kitchen*  
  
Me: As you can see, they all get along very well.  
  
Malek: *Looks at everyone, then sees Kain* what's he doing?  
  
Kain: *Has the Soul Reaver up high, and has a slice of bread on the table. He then does a battle cry, running up to the table, and slams the Soul Reaver down onto the bread, cutting it in half and nearly the table while he was at it*  
  
Everyone else: O.O  
  
Kain: What? This is how I cut bread.  
  
Malek: OOKKAAYY.  
  
Me: Why don't we move on?  
  
Kain: *Whispering into Zephon ear* you could of at least, quickly had come and told us, that Malek is the health inspector.  
  
Zephon: Don't look at me, I didn't know. You should of tried telling her that. *Points to me*  
  
Kain: I take your point. *Zephon walks off, and Kain thinking to himself* Malek as the health inspector or not, my plan will make him decide to shut this place down or not. *Laughs* hahaha... HaHaHA... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...  
  
Raziel: Uh dad is you all right?  
  
Kain: *Slightly a bit red on the face* Fine, I'm just fine, don't worry about me son, I'm just fine.  
  
Raziel: Okay. *Looks at him a bit like he knew he was up to something. And then walks off back to Turel*  
  
What ever Kain is plotting, do you think he'll get away with it? Please Review. 


	7. Kain's plan starts

Kain has plotted something to make Malek shut down our restaurant, but will it work?  
  
Kain: Hehehe, I've got a lot of ideas on how to do this. When the day is done, he'll drive us out of this business for sure.  
  
Melchiah: Dad, why are you talking to your reflection on that spoon?  
  
Kain: *Just standing there holding a spoon inches away from his face and was looking at his reflection on it* should you be getting on with, what you were told to do? *Said it in a very grouchy way*  
  
Melchiah: Sorry you were just... *sighs* never mind, forget what I said. *Goes back to Rahab*  
  
Kain: *Thinking* part 1, start a fight, now who should it be? *Looks around the kitchen, and sees Moebius washing the dashes* hmm? *Goes over to Moebius* hey Moebius.  
  
Moebius: *High squeaky voice* Kain!  
  
Kain: Now, now, don't need to get like that with me, but if you want you should do it to my son Dumah.  
  
Moebius: *Turns his head back round and carried on washing up* sorry Kain, but I was told not to fight Dumah when the health inspector is here. No matter what it is.  
  
Kain: Oh, so your going to let him get away with what he called you?  
  
Moebius: What do you mean?  
  
Kain: Well I heard him say that you were so old; none of the girls would want to date you!  
  
Moebius: HE SAID WHAT!!!!!! *Going red in the face*  
  
Kain: Yeah, and he said your breath smells like something died in your mouth.  
  
Moebius: HE IS GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!!!!! *Stomps out of the kitchen, to the bathroom*  
  
Kain: Hehehe, now for Dumah. *Goes to find Dumah*  
  
Rahab: He's up to something.  
  
Raziel: Yeah, and I bet it's not good.  
  
*Kain finds Dumah*  
  
Kain: Dumah, thank the dark gods I've found you.  
  
Dumah: *With a broom* what is it dad?  
  
Kain: It's about Moebius.  
  
Dumah: Don't worry dad I haven't got in a fight with him I've been here the whole time.  
  
Kain: I know, but Moebius called you something, which I think you should know.  
  
Dumah: Can it wait?  
  
Kain: No it's better you should hear it now. *Goes a bit closer to him* he said that you are so weak; you couldn't punch your way out of a plastic bag.  
  
Dumah: WHAT!!!!! *Puts his broom down on the floor* I'LL SHOW HIM!!!  
  
Kain: *Evil smile* perfect, there going to have a fight, while I go onto the next part of my plan. *He goes round the corner, does an evil laugh, with his shadow on the wall (a big shadow on the wall)*  
  
*Meanwhile with me Zephon and Malek*  
  
Malek: Well I must say, this restaurant isn't so bad.  
  
Me: You like it?  
  
Malek: Like it wouldn't cut it.  
  
Me: I'm glade.  
  
Malek: Now let's see the back.  
  
Zephon: *Looks and sees Moebius and Dumah at it again* uh oh. *Goes up to whisper's in my ear * Dumah and Moebius are fighting again!  
  
Me: What? *Turns to have a look* not again!  
  
Malek: Is there something wrong?  
  
Me: No everything's fine. *Whisper's in Zephon* go and stop them!  
  
Zephon: *Runs up to Dumah and Moebius, getting in between them* all right, all right, what have you done to each other now?  
  
Moebius: He said my breath smells like something died in my mouth!  
  
Dumah: No I didn't! And you said I couldn't punch my way through a plastic bag!  
  
Moebius: No I didn't!  
  
*They both started arguing even more, until Zephon made his voice be heard*  
  
Zephon: QUIET!!! *Both Dumah and Moebius went quiet and looking at Zephon* haven't you forgotten? Malek may be the health inspector, but he's also jugging how we work together and treat each other.  
  
Dumah: But dad said...  
  
Zephon: Dad said that?  
  
Dumah: Well he told me that Moebius said...  
  
Moebius: Kain told you that? He said to me that you were...  
  
*Before Moebius said anymore, Zephon ran off to tell me*  
  
Zephon: *Whispering in my ear* Kain started it!  
  
Me: You mean Kain's up to something?  
  
Zephon: I think so, cause he was the one who set them off.  
  
Me: *Looking at Malek who was looking around the back* go find Kain, because if he is, then he could be making Malek's choice about this place very easily, to choose to shut this place down.  
  
Will Zephon be able to find Kain and stop him? Or will Kain get away with it? Please Review! 


	8. Ear problems, Searching for Kain and a b...

Kain is well... somewhere while Zephon is trying to find him. Malek is with me around the back, Moebius and Dumah have gone back to their work (Now both in a grouchy mood) and the rest are in the kitchen cooking without knowing what Kain has plotted to do with them.  
  
*In the kitchen*  
  
Umah, Vorador, Raziel, Turel, Rahab and Melchiah are sitting down with their bread cookies and muffins in the oven.  
  
Vorador: I can't believe Kain would just disappear like that, and leaving me to do all the work.  
  
Umah: Yeah, I don't see how that is faire.  
  
Rahab: Although I have to say Vorador, you did a lot better job at the bread then last time with him.  
  
Turel: Yeah, it took you fifty-five goes last time.  
  
Vorador: That was because Kain wouldn't let me do much but just stand there and improvise.  
  
Raziel: Well where ever dad has gone, he's up to something, and it's not good.  
  
Melchiah: You guys have any of you seen my ear?  
  
All but Melchiah: No.  
  
Melchiah: That's funny because I stuck in the muffins in the oven, put the plates at the sink. Then I realised it had fallen off again. I checked all around the sink and where I walked to the oven and it's not there.  
  
Raziel: Well I don't think your ear would of gotten very far.  
  
Turel: Beside it couldn't have just dropped off when you opened the oven.  
  
*What Turel said made everyone think that. They all ran to the oven, Umah put on some oven gloves and opened the oven*  
  
Umah: *Picks up Melchiah's burnt ear* uh Melchiah?  
  
Vorador: Well it's... nice and crispy.  
  
Melchiah: My ear!  
  
*Then Zephon came running in*  
  
Zephon: *Gasping for breath by trying to find Kain* has any of you seen Kain?  
  
All but Zephon: No.  
  
Zephon: This is not good. *Walks back out but then he sniffed the air in the kitchen* has something been burnt?  
  
Turel: You could say that.  
  
Zephon: *Sees Melchiah burnt ear* what happened?  
  
Melchiah: *Sniff* *sniff* it fell in the oven. *Grabs his ear and runs off crying*  
  
Rahab: Melchiah wait! It's not that bad! It'll heel! *Runs after him*  
  
Moebius: *Still grouchy* eventually.  
  
Raziel, Turel, Zephon, Umah and Vorador: SHUT UP MOEBIUS!!!!  
  
*Zephon goes out of the kitchen to find Kain*  
  
*Meanwhile on the roof of the restaurant*  
  
Kain: This should work, cause if it doesn't, then I'll have to do more of that cooking, and there's no way I'll do it, I would have grown a beard till I do something right. (If that is possible for a male vampire)  
  
*Kain has a box full of cockroaches. Since what he had heard is that if a restaurant get cockroaches, then the restaurant has to shut down till they have gotten rid of them, or they my not reopen at all*  
  
*While out the back*  
  
Malek: It's not that bad. *Thinking* there's must be something that is not right here, I mean if there is nothing wrong then how am I going to drive her and those stupid vampires out of business.  
  
Me: Something wrong?  
  
Malek: No everything's fine.  
  
Me: Oh that's good. *Thinking* come on Zephon hurry up, I don't think he's just checking if everything's fine.  
  
*Suddenly we hear Malchiah crying in the main room*  
  
Malek: What's wrong with him?  
  
Me: I... don't know. *Turns to Malek* I'll be right back. *Goes to see Malchiah*  
  
Malek: *Thinking* perfect!  
  
*Malchiah is sitting down with his ear in his hand and sobbing all over it, while Rahab is trying to comfort him*  
  
Rahab: It'll be all right Malchiah. It'll heel as always.  
  
Malchiah: *Sniff* *sniff* but it's usually the over ear that fall's off not this ear.  
  
Me: What about your ears?  
  
Rahab: Zephon Fan? Where's Malek?  
  
Me: Out back, lucky I left him there, because it looks like you had an accident in the kitchen.  
  
Melchiah: Looks like? My left ear fell in the oven! *Shows me his burnt ear*  
  
Me: Now I'm even more glade I left Malek out back.  
  
Malchiah: But my left ear never falls off it's usually the right.  
  
Me: So?  
  
Malchiah: So, I don't think it drop off at all. I think someone pulled it off and I didn't even notice it or felt it.  
  
Rahab: Are you sure? I mean who would do such a thing?  
  
*DUMB DUMB DDDUUUMMMMBBBBB!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Me, Rahab and Melchiah: *Looked around the place to see whom was playing that music*  
  
Melchiah: Who was that?  
  
Me: Bet's me!  
  
Melchiah: But any way who?  
  
*DUMB DUMB DDDUUUMMMMBBBB!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Me: WHO EVER IS DOING THAT WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!!!  
  
Rahab: And besides where is our dad? Where is Kain?  
  
*DUMB DUMB DDDUUUMMMMBBBB!!!!!*  
  
Rahab: YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN WARNED ONCE!!!!!  
  
Me: I'm guessing it was Kain, since we haven't seen him in quit a while.  
  
Rahab: What should we do? AND DON'T YOU EVEN DARE PLAY THAT MUSIC WHO EVER IS DOING IT!!!!  
  
Me: Well I've already got Zephon looking for him, but at the moment I don't think his having any luck.  
  
Rahab: Then we'll help, come on Melchiah.  
  
Melchiah: *Still sobbing* but what about my ear?  
  
Rahab: Leave it for now! It needs to be healed before we can stitch it back on! *Grabs him by the hand* come on!  
  
*Rahab and Melchiah go off to help Zephon, while I go back to see Malek*  
  
Me: It's been sorted *under breath quietly* sort of.  
  
Malek: You do know that sort of be heaver can make you drop points?  
  
Me: Does it? *Thinking* help.  
  
*Meanwhile in the kitchen*  
  
*Umah, Vorador, Raziel and Turel are playing poker*  
  
Vorador: I'll raise sixty.  
  
Umah: I'm out.  
  
Raziel: I'm out too.  
  
Turel: I'll go ahead and raise you eighty.  
  
Vorador: *Grins* Five threes. Read them and week.  
  
Turel: Royal flush. *Grins*  
  
Vorador: What! *Turel takes his winnings* you won again!  
  
Umah: What do you think the others are doing?  
  
Raziel: More then us I suppose. *To Moebius who is by the sink* how's those dishes coming along?  
  
Moebius: *Still a bit grouchy* how wants to know?  
  
Raziel: Sorry! Didn't know you were still grumpy! Even though I don't even care about you!  
  
Umah: Don't start another fight Raziel.  
  
Raziel: Sorry but there must be something else we can do besides playing poker.  
  
Vorador: Well I don't care! I'm not leaving when your brother is winning! *Points to the second eldest son, who putting his cash into a nice tidy pile while humming to himself, to torment Vorador* I swear his cheating somehow!  
  
Raziel: Fine then I'll carry on playing.  
  
Umah: It may not be as much as this anyway.  
  
*They carry on playing*  
  
So those four don't know what's going on, Moebius is still grouchy and you may guess that Dumah is as well. Kain is on the roof with cockroaches, Rahab and Melchiah are helping Zephon to look for him. And Malek is up to something and I think he is. This is getting nuts don't you think?  
  
Please Review. 


	9. Kain gets stopped

Kain is on the roof with cockroaches while Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah are looking for him. This is getting very nuts you think?  
  
Kain: Now to let the cockroaches out. HAHAHA!!!  
  
Rahab: Dad! What are you doing!  
  
Kain: Huh? *Sees Rahab, Zephon and Melchiah on the roof (How they got up, I'll never know)*  
  
Melchiah: Why are you going to do this?  
  
Kain: I don't want to work here! I am not a cook I'm-  
  
Zephon: Hey you found my cockroaches.  
  
All but Zephon: ???  
  
Kain: They were yours?  
  
Zephon: *Holding onto the box* didn't you know?  
  
Melchiah: I didn't know you kept cockroaches Zephon.  
  
Rahab: What's the point?  
  
Zephon: Well, people keep cats, dogs fish etc. As pets!  
  
All but Zephon: "O_O"  
  
Kain: They're your pets?  
  
Zephon: Of course *Opens the lid* see there's Zippy, the little hairy one is George, that slimy one on that side is... well I don't think you want to know his name but his my favourite. And this one-  
  
Kain: Stop, I don't want to know those little gross out insects!  
  
Zephon: *Sniff* *Sniff* *Holding onto the box tightly* there not gross! There the coolest pets you can get on this planet!  
  
Rahab: Zephon, you can get those in people's kitchens. They are also really annoying when they're in trash bins or even in your food.  
  
Zephon: Don't let them hear that! I've raised them ever since I found them.  
  
Kain: And where would that be? Where did you find them?  
  
Zephon: ...... Somewhere.  
  
Melchiah: Rrrriiiiiigggggghhhhhhttttttt.  
  
*They all look at Zephon who sounded as if he was speaking to his cockroaches in baby talk*  
  
Melchiah: Anyway dad, don't you think your going a bit over the top with this?  
  
Kain: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't try and shut this place down?  
  
Melchiah: *Shrugs*  
  
Rahab: To show that health inspector that you can do something like this, you know. Show you can cook while he can't.  
  
Kain: *Stood there and said* that's a good reason!  
  
*Kain comes down from the roof and so did Rahab and Melchiah. While Zephon did came down, but he was talking to his cockroaches still in a baby talk language*  
  
Zephon: Don't worry my babies, daddy would never let someone try and hurt you.  
  
*I came out to see if they found Kain yet*  
  
Me: *Sees Zephon* what's up with Zephon?  
  
Rahab: He's talking to his pet cockroaches.  
  
Me: cockroaches!?  
  
Melchiah: Yeah, Kain was going to set them loose inside.  
  
Me: Kain!  
  
Kain: uh... hehehe, great joke wouldn't it have been?  
  
Me: I think you need a bit of a time out.  
  
Kain: Oh no, not punishment!  
  
*A few minutes later, Kain was sitting in the corner of the kitchen, with a dunce cap on*  
  
Kain: *Cheesed off*  
  
Vorador: Nice hat Kain. Wearing a dunce cap really suits you.  
  
*Vorador, Umah, Raziel and Turel were still playing poker*  
  
Turel: Ye ha! I win again! *Takes his winnings*  
  
Vorador: Are you cheeting? I belive you are!  
  
Turel: Don't be a sore looser Vorador. Not everyone is good at this you know.  
  
Sorry this one was short, but I'll make the next one longer. Besides I left this one for a bit, because not only I was doing something else, but the lack of reviews. But what is Malek going to do? You'll have to find out on the next chapter.  
  
Oh and thanks for that dunce cap idea Silveriss. *Throws a Rahab doll*  
  
Please Review. 


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